So long my friend, don't say goodbye, just give me one last kiss, beneath the glowing sky

So, I went out with Mike tonight. We met up with savannah and kim at Denny's. Crackheads lol they left and we continued to talk to this lonely old santa clause looking man. He was real sweet, kind of forgetful, and reminded me so much of my grandfather it hurt. I then proceeded to bore mike to tears as I talked about my grandpa. I miss him so much some days it feels hard to function. Especially right now. I am buying a truck this weekend and could use the stubborn old lump to help haggle the price down lol I miss him so fucking much. I don't think I am nearly as over it as I had thought, and I'm starting to think I never will be. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him, and wish I could just tell him what was going on in my life, talk to him about my problems, get his advise, hell I'd even listent o him rail on about my grandmother being cookee for days, if it meant being in his presence. I don't know why I am missing him so much lately, rightnow I know its from talking to that old man and hearing him tell stories. I miss my grandfather's stories, and I miss watching his belly jiggle as he laughed as stories of him from when his kids were young were told. My grandfather was a loony bin. The man had no fear. By the time I was born he already had a cane and was morbid obese. He had problems moving and was crotchety alot. But never really twoards me. I was the apple of his eye. And I miss feeling that important to someone. He depended on me so much and had so much faith in me. I feel like some days I have let him down. I just want to hear him laugh, see him smile, smell his cologne, something!!! I miss him so much... I honestly think a part of myself died that day. He meant more to me then I think another human being besides chasey or my own kids ever will. He had a pathelogical lying problem according to some of our family, he had a bad gambling problem, but whenever my parents or I needed something he would willingly go into debt to help us. My parents traded in his cougar on tuesday, I was so pissed off. I felt like I needed to say goodbye to the car, how ridiculous is that? lol I mean I have his childhood books, his ansel adams, another one of his cars (the skylark), and he lives in me and my family..and yet some days I feel like he really is just gone. But I know he didn't pass on. He couldn't have left me, he has too much unfinished business with me! Too many promises he can't break! I need him so much more now then ever, and I feel deserted by him. I just want him back for five minutes, just to hug him and never let go. I sometimes swear I can feel him watching me, hear his laughter when something funny happens among our family, but its when I need his advice that I can no longer feel him... I watched "Big Fish" for the past 3 days, Edward Bloom really is my grandfather in so many ways. My grandfather led a miraculous and at a lot of times ridiculous life, and he loved to exagerate to make it all so much more special to us, but he was still the greatest man ever I think. I only wish I could have given him an ending like Will did for his father. But then again, atleast he knows he went with my blessing. right? lol well I need to finish my school work for tommorrow, and get some sleep, since tommorrow night I have to turn my cheduel back to days so I can go car shopping with my parents- YAY?!? But here is just a few pics because I feel like it.
I miss you, Poppy!

My grandpa in a lab in the mid 40s

My grandpa and me on my 14h bday, my last one with him :(